Most of our character traits are established in our early childhood.

The environment we are raised in, our parental guidance and their behavior create most of who we are when we grow up.

However, sometimes our character might be draining or wasting our energy on things that don’t give us any positive feedback or replenish the energy we’ve spent.

This is extremely self sabotaging considering that you are not completely in control of where and how you spend your energy.

And even more, you are a ‘magnet’ of draining yourself. This is due to some negative traits inside the character.

You have no idea how much your subconscious mind plays a role in your life!

Are you an Over Giver?

Some people tend to give their energy to others without reserve. But there is a difference in being generous and being an Over Giver!

Over-giving is not the ultimate form of selflessness! Generous giving comes from a full heart. Over-giving essentially comes from an inability to receive.

Generosity comes from a sense of abundance while over giving comes from a place of lack.

Over Givers think they lack love so they do whatever they can to get that love from others.

And this, usually results in the opposite outcome, they end up abused, drained and exhausted by other people’s manipulation and selfishness.

If you find yourself in any of these 27 characteristics you are an Emotional Over Giver:

1. After interactions with other people you often feel drained;

2. You feel guilty when someone gives something to you;

3. You put the needs of others before your own;

4. You tend to satisfy with just a tiny generosity, like being invited to a party, compared to what you put out;

5. You forgive easily;

6. Even if you feel really sad you would act happy just so others don’t sense your negativity;

7. You apologize excessively, even if it’s not your fault;

8. You feel guilty if you are not able to “give” the way you would like to;

9. You always try to cheer other people up;

10. You often go against your feelings and emotions;

11. It seems that you are the one who cares the most in all of your romantic relationships;

12. You are surrounded by people seeking to exploit you or take advantage of you in some way;

13. You are described as a ‘nice’ person;

14. It’s funny how you always attract the wrong people;

15. You grew up in a toxic environment;

16. You stay in a relationship way too long even if it’s harmful;

17. Most of your partners were abusers, parasites or lost;

18. You were taught to feel guilt for being human, having human emotions and needs;

19. You believe that you are not enough by yourself;

20. You find that you give because you want to feel loved, liked, or admired;

21. You are working too hard without getting the results you want;

22. It feels so good and important for you to be the giver in almost every relationship;

23. You lack boundaries and often let other people step on you;

24. You have considered the possibility that your giving could be the result of some insecurity;

25. You feel like you need love;

26. It’s really hard for you to say ‘no’ even if you don’t really like doing something;

27. It was never easy to get approval from your parents when you were a kid;

What to do if you are an Emotional Over Giver?

The most important thing you can do is be honest about who you are. If you find yourself in most of these characteristics, accept the fact that you might be an Over Giver.

Only when you become conscious of the problem you can learn how to manage your personality so you won’t keep draining yourself.

And the fix is not something complicated…

All you have to do is ask where your motivation comes from when you interact with others.

Is it inward, coming from a place of need, a place of seeking for approval;

or,

Is it outward, coming from full heartedness, from a place of abundance and love;

Just answer these questions for yourself and you’ll know the nature of your motivation.

– If it’s a need for love, being liked and admired, that’s a sign that you’ll waste your energy.

– If it’s from love, you’ll get more or equal amount of energy from what you spend.

Just be aware of your negative motivation and stop yourself in the right moments.

With time you will ‘delete’ that negative trait.

By choosing abundance instead of lack, you’ll replace this trait with one that doesn’t waste your energy, but adds more to your life!

References:
– Psychology Today;
– Esteemology;