You should not be with someone just so you are not alone. Sometimes it’s worse to be in a relationship than being single, trust me.
Most of us get into relationships because of social conditioning, because of our parents, because we are lonely and afraid of ending up alone.
But there are people, wounded people who can choke the life out of you. There’re relationships who leave people soulless when they get out of them.
So being alone is not that bad. Finding yourself, healing yourself should be your path, not getting into a relationship for the sake of being in one.
Relationships come naturally as you heal, they shouldn’t be something you force to happen. If your partner does any of these, you are better off alone.
Respect comes in many forms, but if someone respects you they do so in all those forms. Being with someone who doesn’t care for your opinions, boundaries, desires, emotions, or decisions is just not worth it.
Being with someone who feels like he is just observing the relationship, who is a spectator to it without investing energy, time or effort to keep it alive it’s not worth it. You are already in a relationship alone in this case.
Building a healthy relationship means that you connect with someone physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. If they are not honest about their feelings, they are hiding a big part of themselves from you.
Being controlled does not feel good, especially if it’s by someone who cares only about themselves. If your partner tells you what to do, when to go out and organizes your daily schedule, you are their slave.
Having responsibility means that you do what it takes for the relationship and stand by your decisions. If they avoid being responsible they will most likely give all the burden from the relationship for you to cary.
Your partner is someone who should make you believe in the best version of yourself, someone on your team, not someone who makes you feel as less than who you really are. If the people you love discourage you they are not really on your team.
Being in a negative environment for a longer period of time will temporary lower your level of energy. But being with a partner who is always negative and toxic will lower your default level of energy. You are better off alone.
Manipulation is another form of control, but a more subtle one. It doesn’t come from the need to enslave you, but from a lack of personal power. Being manipulated by your partner can be tested if you go against their suggestions.
If your partner looks at you and blames you for every little thing it means that they see you as not enough, they don’t trust you, they see you as an enemy of the relationship. Because you can’t be guilty for everything, it means they are projecting.
This is without questioning the biggest sign that you need to leave the relationship immediately. If someone abuses you physically this relationship is harmful for you no matter how much you love them.
Being around someone who is addicted to drama means that they are wounded inside. They project their need for healing and their woundedness unto the outer world. You should be with someone who relaxes you and it’s easy to be around.
Your energy is your valuable possession. If people suck your energy you should avoid them. Being with someone who sucks your energy, who drains you, it’s just not worth it. They try to fill an endless hole with your energy.
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