Divorce is a rather complicated and painful process, which can be accompanied by stress and even nervous breakdowns.
There are many reasons for a break in relations. It can be a decrease or complete lack of attention from one of the spouses.
It can be a lack of trust, understanding, love, and passion, disrespect for each other, domestic problems, cheating, or other conflicts.
Whatever the case is, divorce leaves wounds to the people involved in the relationship but also to the people affected by that relationship.
Even though it has become more common in today’s world, divorce is not something to overlook as it can have serious psychological effects.
From a psychological point of view, there are three stages of divorce:
1. Preliminary, when one or both spouses decide to break the legal marriage.
2. Divorce proceedings.
3. Life after divorce.
All these stages may seem simple at first glance, but the psychological effects of divorce on the family are terrible.
During a divorce, many people have to deal with several fears related to the creation of new family, possible financial problems, psychological trauma that a child can get after divorce, fear of misunderstanding and condemnation from relatives and friends.
Practically every person who survived a divorce goes through several stages like shock, depression, and recovery.
In any case, it is essential to find the strength to go on no matter how complicated the divorce process is because life does not end there.
If we talk about the psychological state of a child during the period of separation of the parents, then the child in this situation experiences mental stress, which is often more severe than the stress experienced by adults.
Such a stressful state of a child at any age is caused by a situation of uncertainty, fears, anxiety due to the possible destruction of the familiar world, frequent connections and affections.
Worst of all, very often adults aggravate this stress by actually destroying the psychological world of a small person in the form of depriving him of the house in which he lived, stopping or minimizing communication with one of the parents to whom he may have had a strong affection.
But to avoid the psychological side effects of divorce for a small person, several central points should be taken into account.
First, promote the preservation of the child’s social circle and do not make him break contact with those adults with whom he used to spend time (if the baby spent more time with his dad or grandmother with whom the mother has different relationships today, then you should not deprive the habitual child attachments).
Second, maintain and increase the social contacts of the child, do not isolate him from the familiar society (it would not be reasonable to change or leave the kindergarten, school). The less time a child has during this period for solitude, the faster and more painless for an emerging personality the level of anxiety and mental stress will decrease (new sports, new acquaintances, etc.).
Even more severe consequences for the child appear later when the former spouses fail to establish parental cooperation. In this case, this refers to the divergence of opinions of the husband and wife about the forms and ways of participation in education and contacts with children.
About half of the fathers would like to meet with the child once a week and more often. However, only one fifth of mothers consider this possible, but in general, they more often insist on the complete absence of such meetings.
According to statistics operated by family law specialists, 80% of divorced fathers limit their parental responsibilities to payment of alimony. Only 10% of fathers express their willingness to declare their parental rights and agree to bear equal responsibility with the mothers for the fate of the child, and are actively involved in his upbringing.
The situation of divorce does not pass without a trace for the divorcing themselves. Even when the marriage is terminated legally, many of them are not sure of the correctness of the decision.
Research, conducted by onlinedivorce.com shows that in 46% of broken families, one of the spouses (most often the husband) has positive or at least conflicting feelings towards the partner.
In every fifth family on the eve of the divorce, both spouses retain emotional affection, even though the joint management of the household, the consolidation of the budget in the overwhelming majority of cases were terminated, the property was already divided.
Indeed, as in adolescence, former spouses have the painful need to find their place in life, often they have to redefine the value system for life, analyze and thoroughly rethink their past family life.
Unfortunately, the simplest and easiest ways out of this situation for them can be avoiding the problems that have arisen by addiction to alcohol or drugs. At the same time, none of the divorcing spouses leaves the battlefield without loss. Spouses still worry about the divorce for a long time, as a rule, the experiences last for about six months or a year.
Emotional effects of divorce on men include hate of the woman they have separated from, and they make new acquaintances too straightforward.
Many people during a divorce unexpectedly face adverse reactions in their social environment. In the future, this may lead to a vital worsening of an already tense situation. Support and understanding of friends and relatives greatly facilitate the consequences of a divorce.
For many people, divorce goes away with the apparent loss of intimate social relationships. After initial sympathy and helpful support, contacts with close people often weaken, and the natural order of life is gradually destroyed.
In the process of divorce, good acquaintances are lost, relatives of the former spouse go aside, and relations with the majority of family members are complicated.
For those people who almost did not maintain their independent relations with friends during the marriage, deep emotional crises are possible after a divorce. The loss of social relations creates a feeling of loneliness, which in turn can lead to a dramatic escalation of problems and conflicts.
When a marriage breaks down, former spouses especially need the help and support of loved ones.
Family is a traditional security system that is expected to provide psychological help and practical support in crises. The cohesion of relatives and their responsibility for each other can provide quick and efficient assistance, which often becomes part of everyday relationships.
A divorced person finds emotional protection from relatives, receives the necessary advice, solves his financial difficulties with them.
However, it has been proven that with a change in social status and redistribution of social roles, as well as in situations of emotional conflict and multilateral dependence, family ties can become controlling, regulatory and restrictive.
If attempts to solve problems, to change the structure of everyday life, or to find new guidelines in life do not meet the expectations and values of relatives, they are subject to sanctions and pressure.
During a divorce, almost all parents do not understand, criticize, reproach, or directly accuse their children. Relatives often treat the desire to divorce as a whim, despite the apparent, destructive conflicts for both spouses.
Their intervention becomes an additional burden in experiencing the process of divorce and often complicates it.
As modern society progresses and technology advances the structure and acceptance of what’s normal has drastically changed.
The nature of the relationship between people entering into marriage has changed in the last decades of the 20th century.
Political and economic changes in the world contributed to the fact that public opinion has become more loyal to different models of family life and family.
It became possible to form a more complex family structure due to the re marriage of one or two partners.
Nevertheless, the situation of divorce is a critical and keen experience in the life of every person.
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