The 5 Best Things to Do if Your Spouse Is an Addict

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Often, the most fulfilling relationships in life are those we choose to get into. Unlike parents, siblings, cousins and other relatives, our spouses and romantic partners are the people we actively seek out to spend our lives with.

But these kinds of relationships can also take a heavy toll when they go wrong. That could happen if your partner becomes entangled in an alcohol or drug addiction.

The addictive substance could be something legal such as alcohol or prescription medication, or it could be an illicit drug such as cocaine or heroin.

When addiction takes over your partner’s life, it may be difficult to recognize them as the person you fell in love with.

The actions you take when you realize your spouse is addicted are crucial to both their long term well being and your own.

Here are some things you can do if you suspect your spouse is struggling with substance abuse.

5 Best Things to Do if Your Partner Is an Addict:

best-things-to-do-if-your-spouse-is-an-addict

1. Acknowledge It.

The degree to which your partner has changed, right before your eyes, can be difficult to fathom.

There is also the stigma that surrounds addiction.

For these reasons and more, spouses will often turn a blind eye to the addiction, in the hopes that it will go away on its own. Sadly, this only results in the partner spiraling deeper into addiction.

While it is convenient to pretend there is nothing wrong, that is helping neither you nor your spouse.

Acknowledging that there is an issue is the first step to taking the next steps that are in the best interests of everyone’s health and well being.

2. Join a Support Group.

As with any challenge, your odds of success increase dramatically when you have numbers and support on your side.

Grappling every day with the reality of your spouse’s addiction within your home can make you feel like you are fighting a battle alone.

Joining a support group or an inpatient couples rehab program will show you that there are numerous households contending with the same problem.

Support groups provide guidance and a shoulder to lean on with no judgement.

They provide therapy and practical tips on how to live with an addict without being an enabler or codependent.

3. Read and Learn.

Even if you think you have a solid understanding of what addiction is and what the path to recovery should look like, reading and learning more is still vital to understand the complexities and challenges you may be facing.

If nothing else, learning about addiction will demonstrate to you that it is a disease.

Deep down, your spouse would not have wished to be sucked into this vicious cycle and hurt you in the process.

Addiction creates a domino effect that reverberates throughout the person’s social circle.

Gather as much credible information on addiction and the substance in question as you can.

Find out how being a codependent or enabler can exacerbate the problem. Where you can, talk to an addiction treatment specialist. They will help you get a clearer picture of your situation.

4. Self Care.

You can get so caught up in your effort to rescue your partner from the jaws of addiction that you forget to take care of yourself.

Despite your best efforts, there is really only one person you have the power to change, and that is you.

Set aside some time, space and resources for self care and try to concentrate on your own health, actions and behaviors. You may discover inner strengths and a resolve that you did not know you had in you.

5. Prepare for Difficult Conversations.

If your partner persists in their refusal to seek treatment, it is unlikely that the dire situation will change.

With that may come the need to have some difficult conversations and make heartbreaking decisions.

That would mean drawing a line in the sand and defining what you will not tolerate if the relationship is to continue. It could be a physical, verbal or financial abuse.

Every relationship and person is different so this is not something that a third party can define for you. Fortunately, many spouses will get the help they need before they reach this point.

Addiction is something that should be taken seriously ad it should be acted upon immediately. Even though the first step is the hardest, but as you acknowledge that there is a problem it would be easier to focus on finding solutions that will eventually give you results.

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