Aging is a natural part of life. And as painful as it can be to watch your parents get older, that’s just part of what happens.

The best thing you can do is step in and provide care until a professional healthcare provider is needed.

Research from the National Alliance for Caregiving and Evercare shows that more than 65 million Americans provide care for a disabled, chronically ill, or aged family member on an ongoing basis.

These individuals spend an average of 20 hours per week providing care. Approximately 66 percent of family caregivers are women, while the typical caregiver is a 49 year old woman caring for a 69 year old widowed mother.

If you’re one of the millions of Americans caring for an elderly parent, here are several tips you can use to ease some of the burdens you face.

4 Tips for Caring for Elderly Parents:

1. Know When to Step In.

The first step is to know when to step in and help.

Doing so prematurely could send the wrong signal to your parents and make them feel like you’re encroaching on their freedoms. Doing so too late could lead to unnecessary and potentially dangerous outcomes.

How do you know when to step in?

It starts with being aware of your parent’s daily routines so that you can notice when there are changes in behaviors or habits.

This is usually the first sign that some sort of help is needed. For example, if your parent always has a Wednesday lunch with a friend but suddenly misses three or four weeks in a row to stay home, this could be an early sign that something is going on.

Ultimately, the more involved you are in your parent’s life, the easier it is to detect sudden changes that take place.

2. Establish Boundaries.

If you’re going to commit to providing care for your aging parent, you have to begin by setting the proper expectations.

There have to be boundaries and rules in place, otherwise your relationship could take an unhealthy turn at a time when you both need each other.

First off, explain that you want to help. However, be upfront about some of the obligations and non negotiable responsibilities you have in your own life.

If, for example, you have your own young children at home, they have to be a primary responsibility as well. Communicate this to other loved ones so that everyone is on the same page.

It’s also necessary to set boundaries in terms of when you’ll consider putting your parent in a care facility, if you are ever. Setting specific criteria upfront makes it easier to make these decisions when circumstances warrant it.

3. Get Financial Assistance When Possible.

Caring for an aging parent can be expensive, both in terms of the time and financial cost associated with it.

That’s why we highly recommend pursuing any and all financial assistance options that are available to you in your state.

In New York, for example, the Medicaid-funded CDPAP program allows residents to hire their own caregivers, including adult children, relatives, and friends.

This could potentially allow you to get paid for providing the care you’re already offering. It won’t be enough to support a full time salary, but it can make circumstances more manageable.

4. Spread Out Responsibilities.

If you have other siblings and family members, they should shoulder this burden with you. However, they might not step up and volunteer until you assign them some responsibility.

It doesn’t matter where your siblings live, they can always help.

For example, a sibling who lives 500 miles away can’t visit every week and take your parent to doctor’s appointments. They can, however, handle administrative tasks, stay on top of medical bills, and tend to financial needs.

Spread out responsibilities in a way that makes sense for everyone.

Whether local or not, there are always ways for family to help. It’s up to you to speak up and let various needs be known.

What You Should Remember?

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to shoulder this burden alone.

You were never made to be anyone else’s hero or savior.

You’re one person, and you have finite love and energy to give.

We’re giving you permission to relieve yourself of the pressure to do it all.

Step in where you can and find alternative resources to cover the aspects of your life where you can’t.