White Tears: Lost in Illusion

This fictional poem is about spiritual beings who, at some point, made the agreement to come together in the physical, in particular lovers who have been together in many lifetimes before.

Often, one is still asleep and one is awakened.

There are usually many obstacles in the physical to overcome…

White Tears: Lost in Illusion

I hold affection for you in my heart since I saw you first,
since then, there is this attraction, this undeniable thirst.

Within me there is this painful desire,
it is like a never ending fire.

Your powerful spirit shines unique and bright,
knowing well how to love and to handle me right.

You are strong and are able to protect me,
I want to be a hero, oh will you let me?

As the white lady I am standing strong and high,
but within myself, when it comes to romance, I am vulnerable and shy.

One might think we hardly talked and I don’t know you,
but really, we have spent many life times as lovers, this I wanted to show you.

Now all seems finished before we ever started,
I should have never departed.

You chose ignorance and silence to tell me what you want,
I honour and accept this, despite this loving spiritual bond.

But let me tell you how this hurts,
as I wrote before: “I am bruised by the unspoken words.”

Before you took that choice,
should you have not given me a voice?

I can forgive and forget and welcome you with open arms,
how could I possibly resist your charms?

Forgive me if I hurt you and have done something wrong,
I apologize for it, it was meant with love, all along.

I searched for you, my darling, to return you home, side by side,
you don’t understand this, but it’s not a solution to hide.

I see it is a challenge to clear the issues and to fight,
especially when you don’t know what is right.

​Why don’t you turn to me with your questions and fears?
I am loving and sweet, I would dry your tears.

​What you are suddenly faced with, are shockable news,
you might be confused by who I am and my “unacceptable” views.

Maybe you think a young, slim soulless shell suits you better,
when you see the truth, please don’t write me an excusing letter.

Why not being proud instead that I am different and real?
I am happy I still hold love in my heart and I feel.

​Are you scared of who I am and feel my love, light and power?
Then look into the mirror and wonder, why I give YOU the red flower.

Your essence is for me the sweetest and most beautiful I have ever met,
it’s a real gentleman, treating me like a lady, and not playing roulette.

I am tired of this game of “nothing AND all”,
in reality you know, we are juggling a fireball.

​You are supposed to balance me, help me on my feet,
to protect me and to make me energetically complete.

I claim, our spirits united is the strongest force there is,
but without your physical smile, I am weak and feel amiss.

I want to reach up high,
but with broken wings, it is difficult to fly.

You are destined to be with me and to learn,
can you not feel that this is the time to grow and to turn?

​Please wake up from this physical illusion and be brave and fight,
return home as a hero and do what in your heart feels right.

Your essence will continue to give you bad feelings and pain,
shake you up, saying it wants to leave the physical realm, not wanting to remain.

Can you not grasp the importance of this decision?
I know it’s difficult, you have the physical blurred vision.

Your essence suffers, because it desires to be with its eternal lady,
hold me in the arms and to create a baby.

​My heart feels empty and my whole body hurts,
it’s difficult for me to speak and to find words.

​Don’t you feel the soft bond in the heart?
At the moment it’s painful, like a knife, oh so sharp.

In your perception this bond is an attraction,
now that I was gone, can you feel it is pure loving affection?

Our heart bond floods the whole planet with love and changes its frequency,
it won’t stop there, it will continue to flow into other dimensions ceacelessly. ​

I am not ashamed to say: “Yes, the golden tears I cry!”
and I wonder all the time: “Why?”

These tears are running down my face and there is nothing I can do,
stopping them is not possible, my heart collapsed, oh if I only knew.

The doors for us are wide open,
even after months of distance, this monumentum is un-broken.

Don’t you think one day you will regret,
you maybe will never forget?

One day you wonder what might have been,
if you just would have seen.

I wish I could see into your eyes forever more and see this joyful smile,
for an endless while.

One would say, I am lovely and young,
there will be another man to come.

But no, this equation in this case is wrong.
as a lady sings: “My heart will go on!”

​​There will come the time after “death” when we are together,
returning home and resting in unconditional love forever.

Indeed, our spirits decided already in the physical to reside in unity,
because at the moment there is no other opportunity.

At night, listen and you feel my heart beat,
because arm in arm we dream and sleep.​

I feel your physical presence and passion so close everyday,
we must find NOW another way.

​​Maybe we can start anew,
I am Stephanie, and you?

Let’s re-write the story line,
and maybe there is still a chance, it will be fine.

I was drawn to the French Coast not knowing why,
feeling it already deep within, with a tear in my eye.

I met you last October first on the astral plane at night,
and suddenly my heart turned bright.

I felt this endless pain and this intensive love,
it was different as if it was sent from above.

In my dreams, I saw this unknown man,
I did not know what to think of this, had no plan.

In December the day had come and I tried to find my way,
wondering around town, gotten totally astray.

When I saw you for the first time my world stood still,
while at the same time my personal life was tough and downhill.

Your effect on me was so intense,
how my reaction on you represents.

I was shy and could not speak,
my feelings for you were too deep.

I learned that we had spent many happy lifetimes together,
with the intention to continue to rest in unconditional love forever.

There is this undeniable heart connection,
this warm, tender, sweet affection.

This irresistible attraction,
true bliss in perfection.

A long time ago you agreed on this incredible task as the man on my side,
as well as having a baby and being “groom and bride”.

You cannot remember and see the beauty of my being,
I wished you could only understand and would be more clear-seeing.

That you wake-up and learn what this is all about,
but you don’t give me the chance to speak it all out.

​I put my golden heart in your hand,
but you dropped it into the sand.

​I am a foreigner and not your type,
and all these weird things that I write.

Truth is truth, and there is nothing I can do,
before you judge, verify and walk in my shoe.

In the physical we hardly talked, but still I know who you are,
I am so intimate with you, near or far.

My dear, I can feel your fear,
so close as if you were near.

I can feel what you feel,
believe it or not, its real.

You are too proud to admit,
while I am the one to do the acquit.

Our energy fields are merged,
while the love between our spirits surged.

Over lifetimes, spiritual unification has taken place,
since March, in an incredible fast pace.

You carry now some of my illumination within,
while we even look akin.

I wish you would open up,
instead of choosing this complete break-up.

The problem is that our spirits stick together like glue,
daily detachment work fails, there is nothing I can do.

They cry and suffer,
don’t want to live without each other.

In the physical you say you prefer a soulless, illusionary shell,
presented to you in pink candy, “with love” from hell.

Congratulations on your choice,
you picked a black duck instead of the golden Rolls Royce.

I was not worth a talk,
nor even a neutral beach walk.

​I see that in the physical the time has come to let you go,
but there is something I desire you to know.

​In reality, you are so strong and sweet,
telling me I am the best one you could ever meet.

You, the Gentleman not wanting to leave my side,
taking part in my work, encouraging me to be brave and do what is right.

Being with me day and night,
and not being afraid of my light.

Giving me the loving power that I need,
while calming me down, so that I can fully succeed.

Indeed, my heart was closed for so long,
I did not know where I belong.

You opened up my closed heart,
while you also made my brain so smart.

My poetry is the best,
this is something I would have never guessed.

I am better than Goethe and Shakespeare could ever possibly be,
look at my poems and you will see.

In difficult times you raised me up,
for this you deserve the golden cup.

You taught me what it means to deeply love without condition,
while I got so motivated to full-fill my love mission.

I could not proceed the way I do,
if it was without you.

I learned to fight for what I want and to not give up,
despite this heart-breaking sudden break-up.

I have to find a way now to move on,
but I have a good foundation as you made me strong.

Seeing in the timeline what should have been,
if you would have chosen a different scene.

The memories that should have taken place,
if I would have won the race.

​The crystal baby spirit, ready to incarnate, at my side,
now returning back into the infinite light.

​Knowing these deep wounds will never be healed,
my heart torn apart, like a battlefield.

I wanted to leave and run away from the pain,
but I understand it will come and find me and I would still be out in the rain.

I still have the desire to go but my inner voice demands me to stay,
its destiny to be this way.

This area is being prepared for what is to come,
when I earn an international income.

Also, your spirit is begging me to stay,
hoping that one day we will find another way.

The pain is changing and I have to find my way to live with it,
but I will make it, bit by bit.

I might look at other men fooling me they are a potential,
while they could never give me what is essential.

What they cannot replace,
true spiritual love combined with this beautiful smiling face.

I will find a man who respectfully kisses my hand,
and romantically writes “I love you” in the sand.

A man who appreciates my gold,
one who warms me whenever I feel cold.

A man who hands me a red rose as a present,
while laughing about my terrible French accent.

I think I am fooling myself here,
you will not be replaceable my dear.

Where is my dignity and pride?
I must have lost it along the ride.

​I wished you would have thought twice before you rolled the dice,
may it be known that I conducted on you my first love blessing as Mme Weiss,

​Nonetheless, for you, my heart will remain open,
my love for you will be un-broken.

​Look there is this tiny little seed,
pick it up and care for it, this is what I plead.

​Water it and it will grow,
the love between our spirits will make it glow.

One day we would regret the lost years,
our eyes would hurt, all the un-cried tears.

Our agreements have strong love power,
while at the same time being soft like a white flower.

The place on my side is a huge challenge, but you agreed,
you have the inner wisdom and strength to fully succeed.

I offered you to write history,
while all this for you is still mystery.

I would teach you all you need to know,
you would grow, even if it is slow.

I trust we can work it out,
I see it in my timeline, so no doubt.

Sometimes, I wondered if your essence is of a different race than mine,
but I would not have cared, this would have been fine.

It is a bit like beauty and the beast,
while you are the beast with 10 times more animal DNA, at least.

My intuition tells me something is wrong,
that your heart voice sings a different song.

Breath some air and take your time,
meanwhile I write the next rhyme.

Please catch the golden ball,
it is just about to fall.

We hope one day you will know where you belong,
we will wait for you, preparing a welcome song.

​I trust my choice was right and you are my hero, THE man,
being fully dedicated and even better than Sam.

You will make sure that I arrive,
while the love between us will further thrive.

​Its getting late, we are having dinner with delay,
the table is set, you are welcome, we are having “panem vitae”.

Darling, I will let it rest,
my hero, for now, I wish you all the best.

Stephanie Weiss, at some point in the eternal NOW