“Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself. Each reflection is an opportunity for growth.” — Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott
Ever felt a surge of annoyance towards someone who seems to embody your least favorite traits? Or perhaps a deep admiration for a person who exudes qualities you secretly wish you possessed?
These reactions, my friends, are more than just judgments, they’re reflections.
According to Dr. Cherie’s Rule #7: Others are only mirrors of you.
We don’t simply react to others, we react to the parts of ourselves that we see reflected in them.
The things that trigger strong emotions, positive or negative, often hold clues to our own internal world.
Dr. Cherie’s NEW book “Life IS a Game” explores this rule in depth, as well as the other 9 rules for being human.
She dedicated her life following these rules and now, at the age of 75 she reveals the lessons that she learned by following the “10 Rules for Being Human” for over 50 years.
The beauty and brilliance of this book is that it’s a real life experiment and testimony to the truth. Get your copy today and make sure to leave an honest review, it helps more than you know. Thank you!
Rule 7: Others are only mirrors of you
Imagine yourself standing before a magnificent, multifaceted mirror.
This mirror doesn’t just show your physical form, it reflects the entirety of your being… your strengths, weaknesses, insecurities, and desires.
As you walk around the room, different facets of your personality are highlighted.
The polished side reflects your confidence, the slightly tarnished one, an area in need of attention.
The people you encounter in life are like these multifaceted mirrors.
The qualities that draw you to someone often resonate with your own values or aspirations that you haven’t realized within your own self.
Conversely, the things that grate on you might be aspects you’re subconsciously trying to suppress within yourself.
The closer you are to the person, the more intense the mirror effect gets.
That’s why family dinners and holidays are so harsh for some people, that’s why intimate relationships are called the incubators for growth. The closer you are to a person, the greater light is casted onto your shadow. And that doesn’t feel good.
But that’s how real transformation happens…
4 Powerful Ways to Leverage the Mirror Effect:
Here’s how you can use this rule for self discovery and growth…
1. Observe your emotional triggers.
The next time you find yourself feeling intensely positive or negative towards someone, take a pause.
Instead of judging them, turn the inward lens on yourself. Become a detective of your own emotions.
Consider asking yourself these questions:
- What specific behavior or characteristic of this person triggered my reaction?
- Does this remind me of a past experience or a particular belief I hold?
- How does this reaction make me feel about myself?
By dissecting your emotional triggers, you can start to identify the hidden messages being reflected back at you.
Perhaps an acquaintance’s boastfulness evokes feelings of inadequacy, revealing a desire to cultivate your own confidence.
Maybe a friend’s unwavering optimism reignites your own spark of hope, reminding you to nurture a positive outlook.
2. Try Journaling as a Tool for Self Reflection
Journaling provides a “safe space” to unpack the complexities of your inner world.
After observing your emotional triggers, you can use journaling to delve deeper.
You can call it “Reflections” or “The Mirror Guide”.
And this can be a daily practice that you do (at the end of your day or each morning) that helps you gain clarity of your inner world.
Here are some prompts to get you started:
- “What is it about this person that I admire or dislike so intensely?”
- “What emotions does this reaction evoke in me? Anger? Shame? Envy? Inspiration? Admiration? Contempt?”
- “Are there any limiting beliefs or negative self talk surfacing due to this interaction?”
By writing down your thoughts and feelings, you create a space for self discovery.
Patterns may emerge, revealing recurring themes or hidden insecurities.
You know how scientists write equations that help them uncover hidden layers of reality invisible to our senses?
Well it’s the same with the practice of journaling…
Sometimes, our thoughts and emotions are too complex to understand rationally, or even to be aware of them.
But when we are writing down in a journal, especially when we have the right questions to help us pick our minds and hearts, we are doing the same thing scientists are doing by using equations…
We peak a glimpse into a hidden world and we translate it in a way so that we can understand what’s really happening there and be aware of it.
We might find invisible patterns, recurring emotions, beliefs we didn’t realize we had…
That is the real gold.
This awareness paves the way for personal growth and transformation.
3. Reframe Self Criticism Into Self Compassion
Remember, the goal isn’t to beat yourself up over every negative reflection.
We all have areas for growth. Instead of self criticism, approach yourself with kindness and understanding.
Let’s say you find yourself feeling threatened by someone’s success.
This might be a mirror reflecting your own desire for achievement or a hidden fear of failure.
Instead of harsh self judgment, acknowledge that these feelings exist.
Then, reframe them into a positive intention: “This is a sign that I too want to achieve great things. What steps can I take to move towards my own goals?”
4. Take Action for Positive Transformation
The Mirror Effect isn’t just about self discovery, it’s about seeing the real reality of things so you can actively shape your personal growth journey.
Once you have a clearer understanding of the aspects being reflected, the power lies in your response.
Do you want to keep suppressing those parts, or do you want to actively work towards change and integrate all your aspects into wholeness?
Let’s revisit the example of feeling threatened by someone’s success.
Now that you understand this might reflect your own desire for achievement, you can take action!
Enroll in a relevant course, set achievable goals, and surround yourself with supportive people.
Remember, growth doesn’t happen overnight, but by taking conscious steps, you’ll start to see the reflection in the mirror change.
The people in your life are catalysts for growth.
By embracing these practices, you can transform the Mirror Effect into a powerful tool for self discovery.
The people you encounter in life are not simply bystanders, they’re catalysts for growth.
And life will always bump you in situations and people that reflect your suppressed sides to help you embrace your self fully and become whole.
So, next time you find yourself reacting strongly to someone, remember, they’re just holding up a mirror.
Look closely, and you might just discover a hidden facet of yourself waiting to be explored and embraced.
If you want to dive deeper into this rule and really understand how the Mirror Effect works in reality, get Dr. Cherie’s NEW book “Life IS a Game” and learn how to play the game of life!
If you want to learn more about Dr. Cherie visit her website.
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